the following describes essential ingredients for a healthy relationship:

negotiation and fairness: each partner seeks conflict resolutions that are satisfying to both. they accept change and are willing to compromise.

nonthreatening behavior: each person talks and behaves so that his/her partner feels comforable and safe expressing him/herself.

respect: couples value each other's opinions, listen to each other non-judgementally, and provide emotional support and understanding.

trust and support: each partner supports the other's life goals and respects their rights to their own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions.

honesty and accountability: each partner takes responsibilty for him/herself, acknowledges past use of violence, admits being wrong, and communicates openly and truthfully.

gender equality: the relationship decisions are based on individual needs rather than gender.

shared responsibility: there is mutual agreement on a fair distribution of work and decision making.

i have the right to...

• refuse a date without feeling guilty
• ask for a date without being crushed if the answer is no
• choose to go somewhere alone without having to pair up with someone or feel unsafe doing so alone
• not act "macho" or "seductive"
• say "no" to physical closeness
• say "i want to know you better before i become involved"
• say "i don't want to be in this relationship anymore"
• fall out of love and not be threatened
• an equal relationship
• not be abused physically, sexually, or emotionally
• change my goals whenever i want
• express my opinions and have them be respected
• have my needs be as important as my partner's needs
• grow as an individual in my own way
• change my mind
• not take responsibility for my partner's behavior