myth: it can't happen to me.
fact: more than 1 in 10 teenagers experience physical violence in their dating relationships.
myth: jealousy and possessiveness are a sign of true love.
fact: jealousy and possessiveness are a sign that the person sees you as a possession. it is the most common early warning sign of abuse.
myth: teen dating violence isn't really that serious. it's just kids goofing around.
fact: 30% of all women who are murdered in this country are killed by their husband or boyfriend. according to a massachusetts study, that same high percentage applies to teen women, aged 15-19. Also, 60% of all rapes reported to rape crisis centers are committed by acquaintances, and the majority of victims are aged 16-24.
myth: men are battered by women just as often as women are battered by men.
fact: the u.s. bureau of justice statistics reports that 95% of the reported incidents of assaults in heterosexual relationships are committed by males.
myth: alcohol causes men to batter.
fact: many men who batter do not drink heavily, and many alcoholics do not beat their partners. further, batters who do drink don't necessarily give up battering when they give up drinking. while some abusers do beat their partners while they are drunk, the alcohol acts as their excuse not the cause.
myth: victims bring on the abuse themselves. they ask for it.
fact: perpetrators believe they have the right to use abuse to control their partner, and they see the victim as less than equal to themselves. the victim has no control over the abuser.
myth: if a person stays in an abusive relationship, it must not really be that bad.
fact: people stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons: fear, economic dependence, confusion, loss of self-confidence, not recognizing what's happening is abuse, belief that the abuser needs their help or will change, etc.
myth: most batterers are bums or crazy people.
fact: batterers are found in all classes and types of people: rich, poor, professional, unemployed, black, white, urban, rural, etc.
45% of females and 43% of males reported that they had experienced some form of physical aggression from dating partners at least once in the course of dating. (o'keefe, m., treister, l. "victims of dating violence among high school students," violence against women, 4, pp. 195-223, 1998)
girls reported that their boyfriend initiated the violence 70% of the time. boys reported that their girlfriends were the initiators 27% of the time. (molidor, c., tolman, r., "gender and contextual factors in adolescent dating violence," violence against women, 4, pp. 180-194, 1998)
dating violence against adolescent girls is associated with increased risk of substance abuse, unhealthy weight control, sexually risky behavior, pregnancy, and attempted suicide. (journal of the american medical association, august 1, 2001, "dating violence against adolescent girls and associated substance use, unhealthy weight control, sexual risk behavior, pregnancy and suicidality)
among female victims, the most common response to the violence was fear, followed closely by emotional hurt. male victims were more likely to respond that they thought it was funny or that the violence made them angry. (o'keefe, m., treister, l. "victims of dating violence among high school students," violence against women, 4, pp. 195-223, 1998)
girls were much more likely than boys to be punched and forced to engage in sexual activity against their will. boys, on the other hand, were more likely to be pinched, slapped, scratched, and kicked. (molidor, c., tolman, r., "gender and contextual factors in adolescent dating violence," violence against women, 4, pp. 180-194, 1998)
60% of the girls and 51% of the boys stated that the couple was alone at the time of the violent incident. (molidor, c., tolman, r., "gender and contextual factors in adolescent dating violence," violence against women, 4, pp. 180-194, 1998)
