Anyone can be an abuser: spouse, partner, child, caretaker, companion, lover or friend.
If you are being abused, you may feel frightened, ashamed, sad, worthless, that you deserve to be hurt, or that you must stay with your abuser.
Many people affected by domestic violence don't think anything is wrong. You may have always thought that spouses or partners had the right to abuse you. You have the right to live without violence. There are people willing to listen and support you.
Physical Abuse: can include slapping, pushing, punching, burning, using weapons, driving recklessly, holding you down, punching walls, breaking things, pulling hair, preventing you from leaving, biting, and arm twisiting.
Sexual Abuse: can include marital rape, unwanted touching, sexual comments, pressuring you for sex, refusing to talk to you about or use any contraception, forced or coerced sex, hurtful sex, false accusations of flirting or having an affair, and uncomfortable stares.
Emotional/Verbal Abuse: can include threats of physical abuse, humiliation in front of friends or family, destrucution of personal property, insults, disrespect for feelings and opinions, name calling, jealousy, possessiveness, mind games, stalking, ignoring you, isolation from family and friends, making all the decisions, yelling, shouting, swearing, talking over you, the silent treatment, and constant interrupting.
Economic Abuse: can include preventing you from obtaining employment, withholding money, not letting you know about family income, making you ask for money, and giving you an allowance.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence is a pattern of assault and coercive behaviors, used to attain power over another person. This violence takes many forms and can happen once in a while or all the time. Although each situation is different, there are common warning signs or red-flag behaviors to look out for, including those listed in the power and control wheel. Knowing these signs is an important step in preventing and stopping violence.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual Assault is forced, manipulated, or coerced sexual activity. It includes rape, exposure, voyeurism, and sexual harassment. Sexual Assault can be committed by a man or a woman, someone you know such as a friend, spouse, teacher or acquaintance, or by a stranger. Sexual Assault is not about love or sex. The act is motivated by the need to have power and control.
Who is Effected by Abuse?
People of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, ages, abilities, and sexual orientations are effected by abuse. Men may also be victims of abuse.
"My partner only abuses me after drinking or taking drugs."
Substance abuse doesn't cause violence, but many abusers use it as an excuse. Without help, drinking and drug use only get worse, and so will the violence.
"The abuse started only recently. Maybe it will just stop."
Many excuses are used for battering or abuse, including illness, financial issues, or use of alcohol and drugs. The one thing that is certain is that, without help, the abuse will continue, and possibly escalate.
